end of another chapter

it's been a long time since I've blogged but since I've downloaded a blogging application on my iPhone, I would think that it'll become more frequent? haha.. as the title says, a chapter just ended in my life, but shall be kept as memories and reminder. I just finished my last paper of the semester, of my life perhaps? unless u count ielts as one then well, that'd be my last! fully packed next week, tmr being the day of rest. sigh.. Monday- appointment with migration agent and 1st health check, tuesday- shift to my new place! not exactly excited abt it but I'll be! =) Wednesday or Thursday gotta go iKea which I love! but well, it's far~ lol Friday- second health check, seriously don't get it why is there 2health checks on 2 different dates? hmm.. well, there's that, and Saturday- ielts. and on the 12th, flying to Canberra for a day for my goddamn Cert of Good Conduct! seriously, why can't my parents collect on my behalf? ggrr.. Chris had to fly back to Msia for his as well as his ielts, so fortunate of him. well in a way~ it cost him 1.6k so~ but but but, he could go back Msia! ='(
sigh.. it's probably the 5th time I'm saying this, but I really don't wanna grow up! it sucks! the burden u gotta carry, ppl's expectations on u for being a grown up, the further ur mind think abt etc. I wanna be able to hide in my parents' arms, I wanna be able to cry out loud when I feel like it and not think what's rational and relevant and what's not, I wanna be spoon-fed etc.!
on another note, I don't regret the things I've done in the past and present, yes no doubt some of my choices were not thought thoroughly, were not right some may say, but it's life! u tend to make mistakes right? sure I've probably made countless mistakes, but who is to say what's too much and what's not? most important is not how many times u've fell, but after u fall, do u learn from it, right? I just had to trip over a few times, I believe it's due to my stubborn mind and heart. but no matter how hard the road ahead looks, and no matter how much I say i can't make it, deep down I know I can, not to take the guilt out of those who betrayed or hurt me before, but for the sake of those who cares, loves and brought me into this world; my family, and of course beloved friends.
I know, many are just waiting to see me crash and burn, many are watching, many are laughing. but to those that do, u know I'll grow out of it, and u'll just be the same u now till the end, unless u realize that u wouldn't gain a cent from being judgmental. I can't and I won't care of what u think, just cause I can't do anything abt it anyway even if I did care. it's ur mouth, it's ur mind. do what u do and let's see where u'd be after maybe, 5years. =)
lastly just need to repeat, I don't wanna grow up! dammit..

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]